


Things We Lost Along The Way

by space_squirrel



Series: Warrior Daughter [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 04:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_squirrel/pseuds/space_squirrel
Summary: "Two things inspire me to awe: the starry heavens above, and the moral universe within." - Albert Einstein.





	1. If The Sky Comes Falling Down

When she wakes, everything is painfully red: hot, burning, intense.

She can't move her legs, and a searing pain is radiating throughout her body. Her head is pounding, her limbs on fire, her lungs ashy and dry. 

There's a gnawing feeling in the back of her mind, that there is something she's supposed to be doing, somewhere she's supposed to _be,_ but she's struggling to remember what it is, where she is, who she is. Her eyelids are heavy, swollen and inflamed; and she wonders if this is some sort of sick hell, some punishment for whatever sins she'd committed in her life. Destined to feel the crushing weight on her stomach, her legs, for all eternity. Destined to lie here in the blackness, skin raw and painful, alone.  

She tries to inhale, and instead finds herself coughing up blood, the sticky liquid an oddly welcome sign that she is, in fact, still alive. _For now,_ she thinks, gasping shallowly. Even a shallow breath seems too much, too painful, and she is suddenly reminded of what it's like to die, to feel the oxygen sucked from her lungs as she floats away, away, away into the inky black expanse of space. 

She turns her head to the side and sees her arm, twisted at an unnatural angle, strange grafting and metal screaming at her beneath the gaping wound running the length of her forearm. She blinks heavily, trying to focus her mind through the fog that's settling across her thoughts. The edges of what little vision she has left are fuzzy, now, and she struggles to stay awake, to keep her eyes open. She reaches to the depths of her mind, desperately trying to find some memory, some thought to latch on to, to remind her of who she is, where she is, _what_ she is. 

There's a vice-like grip on her lungs now, an icy cold settling in across her chest, bleeding into her still-beating heart. She's acutely aware of every small gust of wind, every tiny movement around her lighting her nerves on fire. There's voices in the distance, and she wonders if she's imagining them. They sound familiar, somehow, and she becomes convinced her mind is playing some cruel trick on her, making her believe relief is on the way. 

She's certain there's nothing for her here, except her pain: red, hot, burning, intense. 

And then, again - a voice, calling out, shouting a name, closer now, than it was before. 

_Not her imagination._

Her heart beats faster, and she strains to call out, to listen, to do anything other than lie on the hard ground, bleeding to death, alone. 

There's footsteps, now, pounding towards her, each step both music to her ears and fire to her body as the ground shakes with the approach, and suddenly a giant, looming reptilian-like figure is hovering over her.  

_A Krogan,_ she somehow knows, though she isn't sure why or how she knows this. His eyes meet hers for a split second before he turns, bellowing behind him. 

"I'VE GOT SHEPARD," he roars. "SHE'S ALIVE, BUT BARELY. GET A MEDIC, _NOW_." 

The name sounds achingly familiar. 

More footsteps, and human male is suddenly in her line of sight, collapsing to his knees on the ground next to her, relief flooding across his face. He reaches out, ever so gently cupping her cheek, tears falling freely down his face. 

"Sophie," he chokes out, taking a shuddering breath, his soft brown eyes meeting hers, familiar, warm. "Just hang on. We're going to get you out of here. You're going to be alright, you hear me? Just hang on." 

Her breathing is shallow now, and the pain she felt is softening, pulling back, transforming into a dull ache. She turns her head away from those eyes, staring up at the sky, and she feels like she's floating.  

The darkness in her vision is fading, clearing away and turning into a blinding white light.  

The voices around her are speaking quickly, urgently, and she vaguely registers a hand squeezing hers, the man to her side pleading with her to _just hang on._

She can't, though, can't focus her thoughts, can't stay in the moment - and truth be told, she's not sure she wants to stay. The warmth of the light is not red, it's not hot, it's not burning, it's not intense. 

It's not painful.

_This is the end,_ she thinks, regretting only that she can't recall who she is, where she is, what she's done before the light consumes her. 

Her eyes are heavy, the light too bright, and she lets them drift shut, feeling her body floating up, up, up.  

The moment before she lets the light take her, makes the decision to let her consciousness fade forever, her memories come crashing back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! There it is, Chapter One of my Sophie Shepard longfic. This will actually span pre-ME through all three games and beyond, and will eventually have an F!Shenko pairing, as I'm sure this prologue hinted at. I'll update the tags and rating as we go, as to not give anything away. I hope to update it fairly regularly - I already have 13 chapters written, so you'll at least get that many :) Thanks for reading, I hope you'll stick around for the rest!


	2. Shoes and Ships and Sealing Wax

  **Arcturus Station, October 21, 2160**

"I was born in the Vancouver Alliance Hospital on April 11, 2154," six-year old Sophie Shepard recites, flashing a toothy grin at her mother. "My mom and dad named me Sophie Grace, after my Great Grandmother Grace Graves. I never got to meet Great Grandma Grace, but she was very good at the arts. She was a famous actress on Earth, in New York City where my mom and Auntie Jessica grew up. She was also very good at painting."

Sophie pauses, reaching for the datapad on the table and holding it up.

"This is one of Great Grandma Grace's paintings. It's my favourite because if you look closely at the waves, you can see the hidden ocean animals." She flips to the next picture, scrunching her nose as she looks at it. "And this is a picture of Great Grandma Grace with my mom and aunt. You can see she is wearing funny clothes, and that's because this was taken after her last prefo- pre-,"

"Performance," Hannah Shepard says gently, smiling at her daughter encouragingly.

" _Performance,"_ Sophie repeats, lifting her chin as she continues. "It was taken after her very last performance before she stopped acting. I chose to tell you about Great Grandma Grace for my presentation on a family member today because I am going to be an actress just like her when I grow up, and also because my favourite thing to do is colour and that's kind of like painting." 

Sophie beams at her mother, taking an exaggerated bow as Hannah claps. 

" _Wonderful_  job, my darling," Hannah coos, wrapping her daughter in a hug and pressing a kiss to her temple. "You're going to get a very good grade tomorrow." 

"I know," Sophie says matter-of-factly, before frowning. "But I wish daddy was here to see me. He misses _everything._ " 

Hannah sighs, stroking her daughters hair. "I know you miss him, sweetheart. But you know daddy would be here if he could." 

"I know," she whispers, barely audibly, sucking her lower lip into her mouth as she presses her face into her mother's shoulder.


	3. Can't Go Far, But You Can Always Dream

  **Arcturus Station, June 1, 2162**  

"What do you _mean_ I can't go with you?" Sophie shrieks at her mother, her eyes welling with tears. "I don't WANT to stay with Annie's family, I want to stay with _you_!" 

"Sophie, darling," Hannah begins, reaching to touch her shoulder, but Sophie jerks away, clutching her stuffed octopus to her chest.  

Hannah sighs, rubbing her forehead.  

"Sophie, we talked about this. You're not old enough to come live shipside with me just yet, hmmm? Daddy and I have worked very hard to stagger our deployments over the last few years, but you know we can't do that forever. I know it will be hard to be away from each other, but I promise to call you as often as I can." 

She sniffles loudly, staring straight ahead, her lips pressed together in a tight line. She knows this is not an unreasonable decision, knows there are many other children who are not allowed to accompany their parents, either, like her friend Josie, whose father is a Captain, but that doesn't make it any easier. Especially since, unlike most of her friends here on Arcturus,  _both_ her parents are in the Alliance. And at this very moment, she's convinced she is the only child to have ever been in this situation. 

"You love Mr. and Mrs. Plener, Soph," Robin interjects, drawing his daughter's attention for a moment. "I know they are going to take very good care of you while we're away. And you'll have Annie to keep you company - it will be just like you're sisters." 

Sophie perks up at that, eyeing her father. 

"I've always wanted a brother or sister," she says slowly. 

Hannah and Robin exchange a look over their daughter's head. 

"This also means you'll be like a big sister to Tommy," he continues. "He's only five, you know, and he has a lot to learn still. Now, you and Annie are three years older than him - that's six years of experience between the two of you - and he needs you both to watch out for him. Do you think you can do that, Soph?"

Her blue eyes widen. "I do, Daddy," she replies seriously, nodding her head. "I will watch out for Tommy and I will be the _best_ sister to Annie and Tommy. You'll see." 

"That's my girl," he says, smiling down at his daughter.


	4. Butterfly Fly Away

**Arcturus** **Station, April 11, 2167**

 _8:37 AM_   

"Today's your birthday!" Annie shouts, jumping on Sophie's bed and ripping the covers off her. "You're officially a teenager now! Come on, lazy pants, GET UP! Mom has a special breakfast ready for you downstairs, and then we have a party to get ready for!" 

Sophie yawns, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she sits up. Per usual, her best friend is bright eyed and bushy tailed, her red hair already neatly brushed and fixed with a headband. 

She sighs, looking around the shared room that has become her home over the last five years. These days, the moments she gets to spend living in her _actual_  home, with her parents, are few and far between due to their increasingly busy deployment schedules.  

Rolling out of bed, she stretches her arms above her head and turns towards Annie. She barely even opens her mouth to reply when she is hit square in the face with a neatly wrapped package.  

"Annie, what the hell?" She exclaims, rubbing her nose. 

"Sorry, Soph," Annie replies sheepishly. "I didn't expect you to turn around so quickly." 

"Oh, so beaning me in the back of the head is more acceptable, I guess," she teases, picking the gift up off the floor. The package is soft and squishy, the wrapping paper simple: a deep purple in colour, carefully taped, with a bright green ribbon tied neatly around it. 

"Well go on, already, open it!" Annie is bouncing impatiently on her bed, watching her friend. 

Smiling, Sophie tears at the edge of the wrapping paper and removes it, revealing a lacy black tank top featuring an abstract dusting of gold flecks across the fabric.  As she lifts the garment from the package and shakes it out, she realizes there's a sheerness to the fabric - one her parents would hate, she's sure _-_ which makes her love it all the more. 

Annie grins widely as Sophie reaches over and wraps her in a hug. 

"I love it!" 

"I knew you would, and I thought you'd look amazing in it tonight," Annie pauses, lowering her voice and leaning in closer before continuing, "You know, for the youth dance party at Astronautica." 

Sophie nods, running her hand across the fabric of the shirt and picturing herself wearing it,  paired with jeans and simple strappy sandals as she moves through the crowds inside the dimly lit club, music thumping. "Your mom's still OK with us going out with our friends tonight instead of having a party here, right?" 

Annie nods excitedly. "She is. I told her we were going to the arcade at the entertainment complex with Josie, Mira, and the twins tonight. She even gave us an hour extension on our curfew!" Her voice is hushed, speaking in a low tone, but the excitement behind her words is evident as her brown eyes light up. "I can't believe our plan worked... I've never lied to my mom like this, I didn't think I could do it." 

Sophie reaches out, squeezing her friend's hand. "You did amazing. And remember, it's not a lie. It's more... an omission of truth," she says. "We ARE going out with the girls tonight, and we ARE going to the arcade. We just didn't tell her where we were going _after_ the arcade. See? No lies." 

The sound of small feet running down the hallway catches their attention, and they both fall silent as Tommy suddenly bursts into the room. 

"Don't you KNOCK?" Annie yells, visibly annoyed. 

He sticks his tongue out at her. "I wouldn't have to even COME here except you're taking forever and breakfast is getting cold." 

"Okay, Tommy," Sophie replies, smiling at him. "Tell your mom we'll be down in five minutes - I just have to get dressed." 

He nods, then fixes his gaze on his sister. 

"Why can't you be nice like Sophie?" he asks. "You're always so _grumpy._ " 

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" she yells, throwing a pillow at him. He ducks, and the pillow crashes into the bookshelf behind him, knocking Annie's array of stuffed animals to the floor. His eyes widen, and he bolts from the room, laughter echoing down the hallway.  

Annie rolls her eyes and sighs.  "Brothers." 

 

\--

 

_9:32 PM_  

Sophie giggles, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder and batting her eyelashes at Julian, the cute, curly-haired boy a year above her at school.  

Bending the bright green straw in her drink, she raises the cup to her lips and takes a sip, glancing up at him through long lashes. 

She can hardly believe she's _finally_  thirteen, let alone that Annie managed to convince her mom to let them stay out until _eleven_  tonight. She sighs happily, looking around at the purple-lit room before closing her eyes, letting the bass from the music wash over her, thrumming through her veins. 

Suddenly, a hand is at her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes fly open, and she is staring straight into Julian's velvet brown eyes. 

Blushing, she looks away, only to glance back and realize he is still staring at her expectantly. 

"Um, what did you say?" she stammers, wishing she could fall into a hole in the floor and die of embarrassment. 

He leans in, placing his mouth close to her ear, his breath tickling as he speaks. "I asked if you wanted to dance," he repeats, reaching for her free hand. 

"Oh! Um, sure. Yes. I'd love to," she replies, blushing again as he leads her into the crowd, pulling her towards him as they begin to sway to the music. 

She's nervous, avoiding meeting Julian's eyes as he pulls her closer, sliding his hands down until they rest on the small of her back. The move together for a moment, before the song changes and the tempo speeds up. She moves to pull back from him and find her friends, but he catches her wrist, stopping her from pulling away and instead twirls her in a spin. 

She giggles, relaxing a little as he pulls her back towards him, one arm wrapping around her waist, the other cupping her cheek. Her heart stills, and she freezes as she realizes he's about to kiss her. 

Warm, chapped lips are suddenly pressed to hers and she doesn't know what to do with her hands, so she just leaves them at her sides in shock. The kiss is awkward, in the way that first kisses always are, but not altogether unpleasant. As Julian pulls back and smiles down at her, she registers Annie some distance behind him, giving her a double thumbs up. 

They finish their dance and make their way back over to their friends, and, when he suggests she  _spice up_  her drink, pulling a flask out of his pocket, she doesn't say no. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who doesn't have kids, and was a very good kid, I really wrestled with whether or not Sophie was acting too mature in this chapter! So I polled the audience - aka my friends who were not-so-good as kids, and those couple that actually have teenagers... jesus, kids these days. If you're a parent and think I am way off the mark here, please let me know! *Constructive* criticism is always welcome. :)


End file.
